I woke up this morning,
Feeling great.
My bed sheets need to be washed;
They smell like feet.
I can handle that.
I have eggs in the fridge,
And bacon in the freezer.
I take out the bacon to thaw.
I decide to take a shower.
It’s been a week.
I put my clothes into the gathering bundle;
Once I’ve showered I’ll take care of the clothes.
I attempt to put toothpaste on my toothbrush,
The tube is empty.
That’s ok! I’ll shower, start laundry, go buy toothpaste.
I start the shower.
It’s been a month; I get the water perfect. I step inside.
Regrets and guilt that haunted my dreams drip from my consciousness as my muscles relax and I realize I am safe.
I reach for the soap and remember:
I’m a fucking piece of shit.
I have nothing but water.
Warm water.
Home.
But unclean.
Eventually I give up. Shower off. No towels. The towels are in the bundle. The bundle exists because I have no laundry soap. Everything is stagnant.
I remember.
I am a piece of shit.
I do the best I can and brush my teeth with water.
I look at my bed.
I haven’t washed the sheets. The sheets are in the bundle. There is no soap.
Judy wakes me up hours later.
She has come to check on me.
I am in the bundle.
There is no soap.
The bacon has spoiled.